KID SHIRT

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

As an Addendum to the previous post, it should be noted that the "Groovy Kind of Love" 12" and the Buster soundtrack often appear alongside the duets; unsurprisingly, since these are also instances of Diluted.Phil.

Also, a lot of Simon and Garfunkel records have been sliding into 2nd.hand bin focus recently. Not the early stuff, but the mid-period; far, far more than, say, Art Garfunkel solo LPs.

UNFAME AND THE EVERYTHING SHOP

I don't get to hang with my wife w/out the kids very often, so yesterday we got in the car and went on a charity-shop crawl. Spent the morning sifting thru bins of manky vinyl and pinmould-speckled books. I love the alure of The Trawl, the The Sift, the combing thru shit in search of pearls: sometimes, a weird sort of pattern-recognition comes into play; for example, you find yrself noticing 'trends' in the Discardia - you may spot over a period of weeks / months, in different locations in different towns, that certain albums or artists suddenly become more noticable or prevalent in thrift-store / junk-shop bins, as if they've suddenly found some new, inverted form of fashionability. Last year, late-era Culture Club / Boy George solo records seemed to be everywhere; every box of Des O'Connor / Max Bygraves discards contained at least one. Some artists - like Paul Young, Terence Trent D'Arby and Five Star - seem to never go out of Unfashion.

Yesterday, I spotted a run on Phil Collins duet records - twelves, mostly - not his solo reccids, but the ones with Philip Bailey and Marilyn Martin. Phil Collins duets - not just one, but sometimes two or three seperate singles - sitting there in about 7 out of the 10 shops visited. Statistically, that seems curiously high. It's weird; it seems like Phil's Unfame is still in a tentative, almost fragile quantum state, as if the Discardia Market is still only prepared to tolerate his Philness in a diluted / attentuated state, ie as part of a duo. (Remember: everything is inverted / upside-down / backwards in the World of UnPopularity). I'm going to put on my big scary papier-mache Pundit Head and predict a major run on Phil Collins' solo-solo records in the bins early next year - twelve inches of every shade, followed in the summer by a plethora of vinyl LPs.

You might want to get in early here and start stockpilin', Unhipsters! Amaze yr friends: they'll be going "Wow, man, how did you know Phil Collins was gonna be so small...?"

I picked up Brand-X's "Masques" last year; it's okay, but not one of their best.

But you can see where this is going, though, can't you? "Masques" was the first Brand-X LP to not feature Collins on drums...but now, the Unhipster Market is peaking on his solo-duet material, so it's pretty clear to me that we can use raaaandom-sampling of charity-shop bins to extrapolate outwards and predict Reverse Untrends.

Steve Miller's "Fly Like An Eagle" LP has started appearing across multiple charity-shop geographies and demographics. Just though I'd throw that curve-ball at you.

My wife and I also found an Everything Shop. It was awesome - trick-mirror perspectives and everything. It went on...Forever: self-extrapolating, telescoping out into an impossible Tardis-like depth. A sort of Anti-Wilkinsons.

I left my phone in the car otherwise I'd've taken a picture. A million pictures of its Inescapable Actual Vs Apparent Size Ratio. Actually, Everything Shops are sooooo big that light cannot escape from them - nor customers - so the pictures wouldn't've come out anyway. I have only my memories now and they are already starting to fade.

I love Everything Shops - proper ones, mind you; not these shitty little regional chains - they have to be righteously narrow, so deep and looooong that the rear of the shop is lost in shadow or the mists of Time. I know where most of the good local Everything Shops are - or thought I did - but we kinda stumbled on this one and didn't want to leave.

Actually, we couldn't leave.

Then I remembered that I had a (very) short heartbreaking-yet-satirical story on the go that's about the malignant-inverse of an Everything Shop - an impossibly-huge macrocapitalist factory-as-retail-outlet that becomes its own brutal nation-state - and I had a sudden, inexplicable desire to finish the piece.

Maybe it was the coffee.

Instead, I have started work on a new Amerigo Verde story - since the old one was starting to look a little lonely and I had a growing desire to write some Science Fantasy again.

This one's about lost hope, Gnosticism, Baroque Fractals and the most appalling siege of a city imaginable.