Monday, April 05, 2010


TV blew up this evening - which doesn't bother me much tbh; but kids are on Easter Holiday, so we could be looking at a major insurrection unless this situation is at least partially remedied. Actually, the fucking thing was only three years old - in fact, I had one TV that lasted 19/20 years! What are they making them from these days? Fookin' flatpack cardboard? - and yes, I know, I'm starting to sound like Mark E. Smith.

So, Chris gets the old portable TV out of the attic that I'd bought for my mum before she died. It's 13+ years old and has been sitting in a damp old roofspace for Christknowshowlong, but - fuck me! - she plugs it into the Freeview box and the damn thing works.

Not only that, but - despite being a, I dunno, a 14" CRT (the tube's deeper than the screen is wide!) - both the picture and the sound are, uh, far superior to the bloody flatscreen that just went fzzzzt. Once again the lie that digital-is-better is torpedoed out of the water.

Not sure if I can even be bothered to replace the old one. Fuck it: I like having a tiny analogue telly again.

Anyway, the point I was going to make was: while plugging it in, I catch the arse-end of Romancing the Stone and what about that bit, huh, where the Kathleen Turner writer-novelist character is coming back from the grocery-store and everyone in her neighbourhood - even the bums! - is cheering/clapping/gladhanding n congratulating her on her latest novel as she passes them on the way back to her appartment?

I mean, that soooo happens to me everytime I put a new story/novella/thing out there.

The local hoodies all cheer n highfive n knuckle-joust me as I pass: "Duuuude, you are the king of Faux-Jewish Meta.Fict - word!", "Way to go, bruv! Keep pounding them keys! Me and the guys think you're the bomb - don't we, fellas?" (*muffled background cheer from nearby boarded-up crackhouse*), "Your blog's a hoot, man; cracks me and me mum up right proper! She thinks you're well lush, by the way! Can she Blu Toof ya sometime?"

Yep, bang on the number, that scene. And, yes, Blu Toof is a local term for a certain sexual act.

In fact I'm about due to wrap up m'latest 'opus', so can barely wait for all mah local homies to shower me with their blessings and good wishes. It allus brings a lump to me throat knowing my whole neighbourhood is rooting for me.

Awww, you guys...