So, yeah, I'm reduced to sleeping in the garden now in a six-quid tent.
Six quid!!! - how low can you go? I didn't know you could buy a tent for six quid. It's probably made from human skin or something. Off-cuts from the abattoir in West Camel. Ed Gein & Sons, camping equipment by Leatherface, etc, etc.
The next-door neighbour took pity on me and loaned me his blow-up mattress. I was quite happy with the foam thing I'd got - four quid: what a rip-off - almost as expensive as the bloody tent.
He also loaned me a lamp. "In case I got scared."
It's really comfortable though, the tent. And warm. Though there's a bit of a dew-leakage issue.
Something weird sorta attacked the tent at about 3am - an animal of some sort - threw itself at the back of the tent 4 or 5 times, kinda rammed it. Kuhtrhussh! Booosh! Good job I have absolutely no imagination whatsoever. Probably just the cat.
Or some sort of undead thing.
Think I'll start decorating the tent tomorrow. Customise it.
Pigeon feathers and bones. That sort of thing.