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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

"I CAN'T DEFEAT THE TAUPE MENACE; I'M ALL OUT OF UNNIUM!"

"Unnium! I'm totally using that!": thus spoke Mr. Bauler in a comment, somewhere further dn the page: "I can't defeat The Taupe Menace, I'm all out of Unnium!"

You may laugh, little ones, but The Taupe Menace is a very real phenomenon; one that this blog was primarily created to thwart. Without constant vigilance - without commitment - The Taupe Menace can easily creep up on you. It is a creeping sickness; a psychik malaise that can afflict an entire society - or a creative genre - as easily as it can take down an individual.

I think you know where I'm coming from here.

Darren's mention of the conceptual element Unnium (Atomic Non-Weight: 23) reminded me that it's part of the same hypothetical False Metal Series as the 'elements' Kryptonite, Cavorite and Lunar Silver, with which it shares certain properties. The word has a number of co-synchronous meta-meanings, some of which are self-negating. One of its most notorious properties is its ability to induce states of synchronicity - patterns and series of self-replicating coincidences - when its meaning is invoked by something as simple as a blog posting or its name being said out loud. Inversely, some of these quantum coincidence 'states' can themselves also invoke the 'presence' of Unnium, since the element can non-exist equally at any point in linear time.

One example of this is that - approximately 24hrs before Darren 'concieved' of Unnium (or, rather, it self-invoked itself in the form of a comments-box word-verfication) - I was looking at a print-out of The Periodic Table sellotaped to a work-area wall and grooving on the names of some of the newer, more-recently discovered Super-Heavy transient elements, such as

Ununbium (112 Uub), Ununtrium (113 Uut), Ununquadium (114 Uuq), Ununpentium (115 Uup), Ununhexium (116Uuh), the as-yet undetected theoretical element Ununseptium (117 Uus) and Ununoctium (118, Uuo).

What's not to love about an element whose symbol is Uuh, huh?

I wish they'd called them Ununium, Unununium, Ununununium, etc.

Just watch out for the fucking Taupe Menace, tho, that's all I'm saying.