RAPHAEL'S ASTRONOMICAL EPHEMERIS OF THE PLANET'S PLACES FOR 1943
1943! For when you've absolutely, totally got to wage war on yr enemies backwards through time - this is yr best ally. Well, that or a rogue angel - a, y'know, a whatdyam'callit.
This is a very cheap option. My copy cost, oooh, £1.99 and is in near mint condition. Short of nicking something from the British Museum's Red Basement, you won't get anything better for under 5-grand and that'll be via some sleazy specialist arcane book-dealer who you'll also have to fuck in return for it. Eeew.
Still, it wasn't until I got it home that I realised it had been pubished by a company based in (da-da-daaah!) Yeovil Road....oooh: spooky coincidence, eh, readers?
Except that there's no such thing as a coincidence, bub. This, therefore, is the perfek' magical weapon for me. Watch out, ****** ********, I'm going to travel back in time and fuck yr mum at an optimum juncture in the Hypertinuum; that sperm will never fertilise that egg. And you, sir, you will never be. Bwahahaha!
My plan is foolproof! That'll teach you to fuck wit me, u creeetan.
See, everything you need to know:
Oxfam, yr one-stop shop for occult ordnance.