Thursday, May 14, 2009


Specially for Mr. D. Bauler:

My local small-town paper - The Western Gazette - reviewed the latest Star Trek film, saying, "Kirk spends his time in Iowa, getting drunk in bars, hitting on women and starting fights."

I might go and see this. I don't like Star Trek, but the idea of setting one of the films entirely in Iowa appeals to me greatly. It sounds like a novel way of rebooting a faded franchaise.

The Western Gazette asked people coming out of the cinema what they thought of the film (these are genuine quotes from the article):

Fenn Roberts, aged 17, of Yeovil, said: "I found it a bit hard to follow, but the special effects were good."

Alan Powis of Scotland (who seems to have come all the way to Yeovil to see the film), aged 60, said: "It was a bit hard to follow in places, but I'll probably watch it again so that I don't miss anything."

The film is rated 12A.

JJ Abrahams is already preparing a sequel - Star trek 2. According to IDMB: "Kirk spends his time in Yeovil, getting drunk in bars, hitting on women and starting fights. It will also be a bit hard to follow."


Ye Gods: these things are like buses or policemen or...something. You wait ages, etc.

And so, yesterday...not one, but two parcels came at the letterbox like a disgruntled neighbour with a spadeful of burning catshit and a petrol-bomb.

Yep: It's The Journal of Experimental Fiction #35. And what a handsome, well-endowed fella it is too. The blinkin' thing's massive: two-thirds way to magazine height and as thick as a Dorset Doorstop. Ideal for putting on yr head and practicing The Alexandra Technique. Tho, watch out if all those words leak into your bonce at once. I refuse to be responsible for the consequences.

I've mentioned this book before. I'm prone to doing that. It's me age, see. Got a case of early-onset Pratchetts.

This volume has been a little while coming, but as editor Eckhard Gerdes says in the foreword: he's not the fastest editor in the world and - hey! - what's the rush anyway. It's time to sit down and savour stuff for once.

Don't be put off by the word 'experimental' in the title. I know it scares some of you, but JEF #35 is full of great stories and pictures by some top-notch contributors. It's like an old-fashioned literary journal, except it ain't old-fashioned. You should buy it; it won't hurt you. In fact, I know a lot of ya would really enjoy it.

You should see what's coming down the JEF pipeline. There's some amazing stuff due to hit. And not just written-word or printed matter. Oh, no.

Eckhard is a cool guy and a terrific writer in his own right. He likes Amon Duul 2, early Hawkwind, Michael Moorcock, assorted Krautrock shit...and even makes his own music. He may even turn out to be the lost brother I never knew I had.

Oh, and did I mention that JEF #35 contains a story by me called "The Documentary" that's completely different in tone, style and length to the one I posted about yesterday? It could've (almost) been written by a different person. Maybe it was. I think I've got a bad case of literary-MPD. Good job I haven't got an agent, it would make it really difficult to position me in the market-place lol. But - you know what? - fuck that shit. You gotta follow the road.

Tomorrow I promise to talk about someone other than myself.