Tuesday, August 25, 2009


"Unnium! I'm totally using that!": thus spoke Mr. Bauler in a comment, somewhere further dn the page: "I can't defeat The Taupe Menace, I'm all out of Unnium!"

You may laugh, little ones, but The Taupe Menace is a very real phenomenon; one that this blog was primarily created to thwart. Without constant vigilance - without commitment - The Taupe Menace can easily creep up on you. It is a creeping sickness; a psychik malaise that can afflict an entire society - or a creative genre - as easily as it can take down an individual.

I think you know where I'm coming from here.

Darren's mention of the conceptual element Unnium (Atomic Non-Weight: 23) reminded me that it's part of the same hypothetical False Metal Series as the 'elements' Kryptonite, Cavorite and Lunar Silver, with which it shares certain properties. The word has a number of co-synchronous meta-meanings, some of which are self-negating. One of its most notorious properties is its ability to induce states of synchronicity - patterns and series of self-replicating coincidences - when its meaning is invoked by something as simple as a blog posting or its name being said out loud. Inversely, some of these quantum coincidence 'states' can themselves also invoke the 'presence' of Unnium, since the element can non-exist equally at any point in linear time.

One example of this is that - approximately 24hrs before Darren 'concieved' of Unnium (or, rather, it self-invoked itself in the form of a comments-box word-verfication) - I was looking at a print-out of The Periodic Table sellotaped to a work-area wall and grooving on the names of some of the newer, more-recently discovered Super-Heavy transient elements, such as

Ununbium (112 Uub), Ununtrium (113 Uut), Ununquadium (114 Uuq), Ununpentium (115 Uup), Ununhexium (116Uuh), the as-yet undetected theoretical element Ununseptium (117 Uus) and Ununoctium (118, Uuo).

What's not to love about an element whose symbol is Uuh, huh?

I wish they'd called them Ununium, Unununium, Ununununium, etc.

Just watch out for the fucking Taupe Menace, tho, that's all I'm saying.


At 9:45 am, Blogger db said...

I firmly believe in the Taupe Menace. Jean Shepherd calls it "creeping meatballism".

At 7:58 pm, Blogger I am not Kek-w said...


Yep: The Illusion of Change (for the better). Amongst other things.

Other examples might be: Supersize Culture. Middle-Management Infestations. Mp3 files. The latest wave of 3D Cinema.

I'm sure readers can add their own variations to this list.

It's important that together we stand firm against all this guff and call it out for what it is.


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