KID SHIRT

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

RAPHAEL'S ASTRONOMICAL EPHEMERIS OF THE PLANET'S PLACES FOR 1943

1943! For when you've absolutely, totally got to wage war on yr enemies backwards through time - this is yr best ally. Well, that or a rogue angel - a, y'know, a whatdyam'callit.



This is a very cheap option. My copy cost, oooh, £1.99 and is in near mint condition. Short of nicking something from the British Museum's Red Basement, you won't get anything better for under 5-grand and that'll be via some sleazy specialist arcane book-dealer who you'll also have to fuck in return for it. Eeew.

Still, it wasn't until I got it home that I realised it had been pubished by a company based in (da-da-daaah!) Yeovil Road....oooh: spooky coincidence, eh, readers?

Except that there's no such thing as a coincidence, bub. This, therefore, is the perfek' magical weapon for me. Watch out, ****** ********, I'm going to travel back in time and fuck yr mum at an optimum juncture in the Hypertinuum; that sperm will never fertilise that egg. And you, sir, you will never be. Bwahahaha!


My plan is foolproof! That'll teach you to fuck wit me, u creeetan.

See, everything you need to know:



Oxfam, yr one-stop shop for occult ordnance.

2 Comments:

At 7:46 am, Blogger 2ND.FADE said...

no surely i WOULD exist, but i'd have to make sure that you DID go back in time, so that you'd meet my Mum and i did exist....so that i can save the human race in the future that she told me about.... or something....

so you see, it was worth me stealing that stuff from an antiquarian bookdealer and planting it in an Oxfam shop after all..... glad you picked up the specially planted Yeovil clue.... i'm proud of you - you'll obviously do a grand job Dad....

 
At 8:53 am, Blogger I am not Kek-w said...

Please tell me this self-evolving franchaise we've just summmoned into being doesn't involve unstoppable robots from the future travelling back to...ah forget it, my DeLorean taxi's just turned up.

I'm off to see "Freddie and Jason Vs. Terminator Robo-Cop: Back to The Future VIII" at the cinema in reversoworld 1986/Time-line #357368, then off to inseminate a bunch of blogger's mums. heh.

 

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