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Friday, November 14, 2008

NIJINSKY COLLIDES WITH A TOMATO


VENUS SPEAKS



Not very often that you get to read a book by someone who's actually from Venus. The author's name is:



Not quite sure how you pronounce that. I'll have to ask one of my friends in The Yeovil Lemurian Society - Azaruus might know. Anyways, there's all sorts of interesting stuff in there about how Earthkind might avoid an atomic war, how to abolish famine and pestilence, and how hairy and apelike human skin is (speak fer yrself, Vene Bro'!). There's prophesies and tips on self-grooming and pacifist conduct and all sorts of useful ideas to help us become fruitful and peace-lovin' members of The Interplanetary Community - if only we would listen, darn it!!!

Cancer can be cured by the use of colour-rays, apparently. Interesting that Venusians have adopted English spellings, rather than American ones. Perhaps they know something we don't.

There's some info on universal vibrations, but nada on Venusian music, which is a shame as I wouldn't mind writing a Wyrd World column on this.

"We are at least five and a half feet tall, with bodies lighter than yours, and are complete vegetarians, living off fruit juices. Our hair is a beautiful sunspun colour, and our complexions are of a different texture to the inhabitant of planet Earth. The voice is soft and musical and we are beings completely versed in mental telepathy and are in communication with The World of Spirit. My eyes are slant."

Me too! Me too!

Oh, if only they had a Facebook page.

"We are deeply moved and sorry for the death of Captain Mantell of the United States Air-force, who was chasing our space-ship. We were in no way responsible for his death. We had left your Earth and were travelling back to our planet at a normal speed, when our observer, looking through the reflector, saw a plane closing in on our space-ship. It was too late for us to avoid his plane, for he was closing in exactly underneath the rim where the danger lies. Naturally he was struck by the powerful force of repulsion and then his plane crashed into pieces before our eyes."

So now you know.