THE LOOK AND SOUND OF PERFECT
Some cool new Japshit arrives thru me letterbox, courtesy of Mr. Brophy, who I hearby thank.
It's amazing to me that us writer-types spend so much time mining for fresh new concepts or new spins on old ideas, while the Japanese just shove a big gun on a schoolgirl's arm and call it "Machine-Girl." It's so fucking elegant and simple that I'm in awe (tho if I'd pitched an idea that simplistic to a comics editor he woulda said: "G'wan - ged outta here, ya bum! What d'ya think this is, 1978?"
"Machine-Girl": that's just so bitchin' brilliant.
"...barely surviving, she seeks out shelter with two kindly garage mechanics. They take pity on her, fitting her with a high-calibre machine-gun where her arm used to be..."
Two kindly garage mechanics...lol.
Of course, this is just an Asian remix of "Planet Terror," but, uh, involving a different limb. Tho it also has "Evil Dead 2" as an ancestral gore-form. Here's a trailer for anyone who's interested...
Something tells me you might wanna check this one.
Next up is "Meatball Machine"...apparently a remake of Jun'ichi Yamamoto's 1999 Post-Industral Cyber-Art-Splatter movie (who's also on board for this one):
The sleeve-notes say: "Boy meets Girl. But is too scared to ask her on a date. Girl gets infected by an alien parasite that turns her into a homocidal cyborg. Boy also transforms into said thing and goes on quest to save Girl." All together now: awwww...
But perhaps the scariest of these films is "Sukeban Boy".
"The Foul-mouthed, hard-fighting son of a biker, Sukeban has been cursed with the looks of a pop princess. The looks lead to teasing, the teasing leads to fighting, the fighting leads to expulsions from every boy's high school in the region!"
It gets worse: "What’s a biker who’s nurturing conflicted feelings for his gender-confused child to do in such a situation? Simple! Dress the boy up as a girl and enroll him in an all-girls high school. But girls’ schools are strange, disturbing places and, within a day of arriving, Sukeban has been signed up for humiliation classes and forced to do battle with the various school gangs: the Pantyhose League, the No-Bra League, and – of course – the Full Strip League. Wasting no opportunities to spread jiggling flesh across the screen, is Sukeban Boy a blazingly funny parody of the schoolgirl fetish film, or simply one of the most memorable fetish films ever made? By the time the nipple clamps and breast guns make an appearance, you simply won’t care. Bizarre, hysterical and horribly wrong in absolutely all the right ways."
Believe me, you're just not ready for a YouTube of this one. Hanna Montana on bathtub crank.
Oh, alright then....you twisted my arm: