KID SHIRT

Friday, June 27, 2008

GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL CAN FUCK OFF (AGAIN)

Well, the first ketamine over-doses arrived last night (thurs).

For those of you that don't have a clue what I'm talking about: I'd better explain that we only live 15-20 minutes drive from Glastonbury Festival (well, Pilton, actually; 'cos that's where it's actually held, not Glastonbury Town itself...), which for the benefit of non-UK-ers is the biggest 'rock' fest. in Britain (am I right in saying that?).

As a result, our local hospital tends to take the brunt of the festival casualties. And, so it was, that the first ketamine overdoses were ferried in on thursday evening, and the festival hadn't even started yet.

What usually happens is that if they crawl out of their k-hole without the need for serious psychological counselling or social services back-up, then there's a minibus service that ferries them back to the festival so they can catch the end of James Blunt's set, courtesy of Yeovil's council-tax payers. Sorry if I sound like an outraged Daily Mail reader here, but it's not like this is a big town, yet our local infra-structure is expected to support an influx of 130,000-150,000 people into the area (the population of Yeovil and its surrounds is, what? 30,000+). Due to local council politics all the money goes to Taunton (cos that's where the supercouncil is based), despite the fact that most of the work is based in Yeovil, so they get a hospital waaaaay bigger than ours, a proper shopping-centre, a motorway, etc, etc. And we get the walking dead overspill from Glastonbury...

The weekend-warrior and pretend-hippy drug-binge-ers and the food poisoning and the several dozen broken ankles and legs courtesy of drunken car-salesmen and estate-agents from Woking who slipped in the mud after visiting the cider-bus.

I wouldn't mind, but Pilton's a corporate shite fest. these days. They dish out tickets to middle-management dickheads as incentives/prizes/jollies like it was fucking Wimbledon or the Rugby Finals. And this year's line-up was spectactularly bad, even by Eavis' lame-ass standards. Three days spent under the same sky as the cream of manufactured indie-bullshit and a couple of 'classic rock' acts, plus the chance to eat at any one of 300 identikit ethnic-food franchaises and recharge yr phone on site! I wouldn't even write about the bloody thing, but if you live dn here you can't avoid the fall-out or, in fact, partially paying for the festival. Good ol' Glasto -! Fuck off...

Last time round a bunch of posh private-school birds wound up in our hospital on the thurs or the fri after necking too much K & E, and they were barely out of their comas before they started demanding private side-rooms because they didn't like being on a public ward - there were too many old people either side of them, apparently, and they didn't like it...no difference from the fest. then, I woulda thought - no matter where you camp there's too many old people either side of you...

Still, the line-up's soooo fucking dreadful that I'm not surprised people neck horse-tranqs and disassociative anaesthetics 15 minutes after they arrive on site...

A few years back, they found this Welshie sat in a ditch eating his own shit (nothing new there, then) a week after the festival had finished...the guy had suffered some drug-fuelled mental implosion so he ended up in our hospital while they put plasters on what was left of his brain. He had his own private room as he was suffering from severe delusions and was, uh, non-social: he smeared his own crap on the walls and stored his wee in jam-jars on the windowsill, and then covered the windows in butter cos he though there was going to be a nuclear attack. Unsurprisingly, the Welsh Social Services didn't want him, cos it would cost them too much money to feed and house him...and his family didn't want him back cos he'd done this sort of thing before...so he ended up stuck here being nursed for several months til his schizophrenia was sufficiently under control that Newport Council would have him back. The Mean-fiddler Organisation now owns 39% of the festival. Vince Powell sold his share in the organisation a couple years back for a lorra, lorra money (He wanted some new challenges, apparently) - I was gonna suggest that him and Eavis and the curent Mean Fiddler's board should pay next year's council-tax bill for us. You know, as a gesture...

It's not like all the big money being sprayed around is even filtering into the local economy - even the drug-dealers are out-of-towners lol - so maybe we should introduce a Local festival Tariff for festival-goers, or better yet: organise a mob of flintlock-armed highwayman to rob all the Cockney Spacevans and People-Carriers using the A37, then we could retreat to the Rifleman's Arms and burn a wicker-man in peace.

If you think this sounds like the ramblings of a sour old man - then you're probably right. But, at least I'm consistant - I've hated it for some years now, unlike the bandwagon-jumping "ain't as good as it used to be" brigade.

When everyone else stops going in 5 years time, then I'll start going again.

22 Comments:

At 8:23 pm, Blogger Cloudboy said...

yep the glasto fest is a bag of steaming shite... never been, never wanted too... and i don't feel i'm missing out on anything that i've not been blissfully ignoring for the last 20 years anyway... a shameful excuse of a festival

 
At 8:28 pm, Blogger Cloudboy said...

it's more like a fashion accessory...

 
At 8:49 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Steaming shite for sure - I do remember a few good years - 79 with the Pop Group / 83 with Ginger Baker being smacked by a flying rock / 87 with a tab of black-micro-dot / 89 with E and a rave-tip .. never been since ... apart from a free one day climb in sometime mid 90's - stayed 15 hours then got the fuck out ..

Forget the bike-chains and hitting Yeovil - kets get some damn chain saws and go a-killin them weekend-trust-fund-hippys - NOW !!

 
At 12:34 am, Blogger kek-w said...

I didn't know The Pop Group had played in '79!...did you see any of their Bristol shows? They were a great band live!

I went (I think) in maybe 80 or 81 for the sat afternoon, then went off to see The Teardrop Explodes in Bristol in the evening lol.

Then went about 3 years in a row thru to about 84, then 86 maybe ( i remember sheltering in a torrential downpour in a stall, drinking cider and smoking spliff with The Skipper while The Cure played lol), then again in 97 only to find it was about 4 times bigger than when I'd gone a decade earlier...

I remember bumping into you on the Ginger Baker year - I think me an my ex- saw you when we'd just got there (after 8 hrs in a traffic-jam), but didn't see you for the rest of the weekend lol...

 
At 4:12 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Yep 79 was a cool lineup - Pop Group, Steve Hillage, Peter Gabrial (gulp) - Tom Robinson Band (2468 baby), Only Ones (hoohahhh) - and Nona Hendrix (boogy on down) - Lets face it - they don't make lieups like that these days !!

Remember seeing you at the 83 bask too - went there with Jim and Andy Musgrave who decided it was a cool idea to drop a trip before attempting to erect the tent - needless to say we slept under the stars (maaann) from that point on ..

 
At 6:08 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

On the Pop Group topic - never caught them playing in Bristol - but did catch them supporting ATV in Cheltenham - with Smiffy and Vaughny and Jinkxy - Spizz Oil also played that night - now they don't make gigs like that these days do they now !!

 
At 11:38 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Cool! Saw Spizz with The Banshees...

Crikey, must've seen The Pop Group 4 or 5 times at various locations in Bristol or surrounds. Ahh, they were great...

 
At 4:24 pm, Blogger Nat said...

I work with a man who does strange things with his poo! He also thinks he's related to the Queen! I don't think he's Welsh mind... ;o)

My sentiments exactly when it comes to Glasto... too many posh birds in small shorts and inadequate shoes!

(I'm doing Welfare for the Glade Festival in a couple of months I'll tally up the K casualties for you there and see if the figures match Mrs Kidshirts!)

Nat xxx

 
At 9:20 am, Blogger Loki said...

i like the posh birds in small shorts and inadequate shoes..they were always there, weren't they?

 
At 10:51 am, Blogger Stoatgobbler said...

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At 11:25 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

The Glitchman always gets the tent up - even when there's not a tent.

 
At 9:20 am, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Careful with that tent Eugene ....

 
At 10:16 am, Blogger Stoatgobbler said...

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At 3:30 pm, Blogger Stephen said...

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At 3:57 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Now 'stoatgobbler' your memory is indeed much better than mine!! Too much acid at Stonehenge I suspect..!!

I remember seeing that Untouchables lot when they also played in the barn next to the farm during one of those mid-festival gigs they used to do - bloody excellent band - also saw the rather wonderful Only Ones play same venue !!

Clean forgot Aswad played that year - congrats on your fine brain-cell recollection sir ..

!!!

 
At 5:35 pm, Blogger Stoatgobbler said...

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At 5:41 pm, Blogger Stephen said...

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At 5:43 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Yep I remember ICU playing there - mushrooms I believe being the tipple of the night ... that and strong cider ...

Now were you involved in a car ruining scene scrambling around the fields with Mark W / Max etc ??

 
At 7:28 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Holy Fuck - I remember seeing John Cooper Clarke (on the main stage) - was that '81....?

The Untouchables - they were kids, like about 15 or something, weren't they? Doing Wilco impersonations...jeez: where did I see them? Not Pilton, or was it?

Remember seeing Kevin Turvey in a tent and tripping in the Dub tent in the small hours, when some gangster-dealer came in and started waving a real sword around, then stuck it in the ground and skanked around it...

Those barn gigs were great - I missed The Only Ones, but went to some others (not ICU), but fucked if I can remember who I saw - there was one in late autumn with a huge bonfire....so that's what we did in the days before Acid House...!!!

 
At 4:25 pm, Blogger Stoatgobbler said...

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At 5:23 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

God, it's like Friends Reunited round here...

 
At 8:42 pm, Blogger farmer glitch said...

Hippie-r-us more like it !!

 

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