KID SHIRT

Friday, June 06, 2008

DICKIPEDIA

Here.

Dickipedia: truly, this is what the internet was invented for.

Dick Cheney's entry starts:

"Richard Bruce Cheney (born January 30, 1941) is a former United States Congressman, Secretary of Defense, the 46th Vice President of the United States and a dick. He also served as White House Chief of Staff, and in the private sector was the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services. Every decision he has ever made has been wrong."

Vladimir Putin's entry begins:

"Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin (born October 7, 1952) is the Prime Minister of the Russian federation, the former President of the Russian Federation, the 2007 TIME magazine Person of the Year, and a dick. As an emotionless, muscular, tyrannical, soviet-style politician and former KGB agent, Putin is essentially an amalgam of every villain from every action movie released between 1981 and 1987."

I've no idea who's behind this, but it really wouldn't surprise me if this soon became the fastest growing site on the internet.

15 Comments:

At 7:04 am, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

Andy Prunty needs to write an entry for me.

 
At 8:31 am, Blogger kek-w said...

LOL!

It just occured to me that I'm somehow going to have to explain Bradley's complex and multi-layered relationship with the word 'dick' at some point...

I'm not sure quite where to start...

 
At 8:48 am, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

Started with being drunk and in the same room with a bunch of people who had submitted stories to Bust that I had rejected.

 
At 8:52 am, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

Come to think of it, I have also accepted stories from most of those people too.

 
At 8:55 am, Blogger kek-w said...

Jeez: so it was the alt.lit equivalent of a lynch-mob - who had come to both praise and bury you...

"Et tu, Prunty!?"

 
At 8:58 am, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

No, it was more like all in my head. Just talking about things with them that made me feel like a dick.

 
At 9:02 am, Blogger kek-w said...

Awwwww....man. That just broke my heart.

I just suddenly remembered the time-difference. It's what, 3am, over there...?

"Go to you room now, young man!!"

At some point I will tell these mortal fools about the Bradley Sands-themed anthology (just as soon as I've had a chance to write and submit something lol)

 
At 9:05 am, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

It's 4 AM

I work at night and sleep during the day.

 
At 9:16 am, Blogger kek-w said...

Ah, yeah - I remember now you said you work night-shifts at your job and you're a bit of an insomniac...

I'm a lousy sleeper too - I get stressed; can't sleep...kids wake me up if they make the slightest sound...blahblahblah...I used to have a lot of food intolerences - wheat, dairy - and that used to keep me awake in spiralling waves of negativity....it's better now - but I average about 5-6 hrs if I'm lucky....I think my own ideal bio-rhythm would be to sleep from about 2/3am until 10/11-ish...

 
At 4:18 pm, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

Third shift is great now because it's summer and the store is dead. I'm getting a lot of work done on my novella there.

How do food intolerances keep you awake? Upset stomach?

I need seven hours of sleep or I will feel terrible the whole day/night/whatever. I usually try for eight.

 
At 5:32 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

How do food intolerances keep you awake? Upset stomach?"

They promote a minor immune reaction which messes w/ yr hormones, brain proteins, etc....it emulates a sort of minor anxiety attack...makes you feel over-anxious, negative...you mull over negative shit - you might get minor palpitations, etc, sleep becomes impossible...the next morning you sorta 'crash', so on top of the tiredness thru lack of sleep, a sort of chemical 'depression' sets in until your body filters the toxins out of your bloodstream and tissues...

It's almost indistiguishable from classic clinical anxiety/depression, except it's short-lasting and only in response to certain food-stuffs... lots of people suffer from an allergy/addiction syndrome w/ various foodstuffs except it's usually masked by the fact that they continually consume the thing that is aggravating them, be it wheat, dairy, coffee, whatever - if they stop for more than 2/3 days, a sort of withdrawl sets in...but in some cases yr baseline health sinks below the limbo-bar and you beome over-sensitised to the foodstuff (as opposed to full-on allergic, which can be potentially life-threatening) - so there's sort of pseudo-psychological symptoms as well as physical ones (bloated gut, joint pain) - but it all varies from person to person...

 
At 6:01 pm, Blogger Bradley Sands said...

Ah. I wonder if I have any of that stuff. My insomnia probably has more to do with my bipolar disorder. Or maybe my doctors are nimrods and it's been food allergies this whole time instead of bipolar disorder. I lack faith in doctors.

I had to give up caffeine though because it increases the chances that I'll wake up with TMJ disorder pain. That is unfortunate. I love caffeine. I have been drinking Yerba Mate tea lately. It's not as good as a cup of coffee, but it's not bad and doesn't cause me pain.

I think that I go through periods of insomnia whenever my sleeping schedule deviates just a little. I've been having trouble falling asleep lately, and I only have to get up an hour earlier everyday to wait for the bus because I destroyed my car. I don't know why waking up an hour earlier makes it so hard for me to fall asleep.

I often get a burst of energy right before I'm about to go to sleep. This is very annoying. It is usually much more intense at night, hence the reason why I'm living the nocturnal lifestyle.

There's a bar nearby for third shift people that opens around five in the morning. I need to check it out sometime.

 
At 6:43 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

"Or maybe my doctors are nimrods and it's been food allergies this whole time instead of bipolar disorder. I lack faith in doctors."

Well, I had chronic health issues a few years back - won't bore ya with the details - and my GP diagnosed me with anxiety/depression...said there was no such thing as food intolerances...we had many stand-up arguments about a bunch of stuff - he wanted to put me on prozac and sleeping-pills, but it turned out to be food intolerences due to a candida (yeast) overgrowth in the gut that wouldn't have been fixed by pills, but there were definitely symptoms that *appeared* to be psychological, but were actually chemically triggered...

Yeah, I don't sleep v. well if I know I've got to get up at a certain time - I just can't sleep if I'm on a get-up deadline...

My sleep patterns are still not great, but I'm not a full-on insomniac like I was when I was sick...

"I often get a burst of energy right before I'm about to go to sleep." - yeah, I get v. strong desires to start writing around 11:30, usually with disasterous consequences...it's like a 'creative switch' toggles on when I should be thinking about sleeping...it's like ersatz dreaming...

 
At 11:48 pm, Blogger murmurists said...

clearly filling a gap in the market.

And the word verification for this was 'alidsexr'.

 
At 12:04 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

So many dicks - so little time!

 

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