KID SHIRT

Monday, December 18, 2006

MORBID PESTILENCE, etc

Underpants are no longer an option...



Severe gential chafing means I have had to go commando. Unfortuately, this leaves my plums to the brillo-pad like mercy of 'eavy denim. The only pair of cotton trews I possess are a pair of cargos I bought in Toronto in '98 from the Beastie Boys X-Large shop; however, even these are too harsh, but I am too weak to send the servants out for velvet, but I take some comfort in the fact that these are extremely baggy. Strangely, the sores on my forehead seem to hurt more than those on my balls. Something to do w/ the micro-density of nerve-endings, I presume.



Yesterday my bones ached on some inexplicable, hitherto unknown sub-atomic level. And the lesions fucking hurt, I'm tellin' ya, all 5 hundred of 'em. I look like I've headbutted a bee-hive. Heh. I haven't had this much fun since I dug up the neighbours' dead dog and made a mask out of it.

Can't wait until the unbearable comedy-itching phase begins.

But, on the plus side:

(1) I can't possibly finish my Christmas shopping (hurrah!)
(2) Can't possibly visit relatives...tho most are dead anyway, so have just freaked myself out with some creepy internal imagery.
(3) Don't have to shave for a couple weeks (double plus-points hurrah!).



I will return to talking about music, etc again real sooooon, but, hey, this is a unique blogging opportunity that needs to be milked til it bleeds (and, boy, does it ever bleed). Wouldn't want things to get stale around here.



Okay, gotta go; limited energy levels right now; I'm still only up an hour or two a day and I hadda type this in a couple shifts. Also, my typing is all over the shop. Mind is infuriatingly active, but body refuses to cooperate.

9 Comments:

At 12:54 am, Blogger GTTRBRKZ said...

Er..that guy in picture #3, standing next to the skeleton holding the test tube...that's you, isn't it...?

 
At 7:37 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang on - you've got the buboes on your balls??!! My god, I'm sitting here with crossed legs just thinking about it.
It's surely right about now that a visit from Doc Benway and his smack would be most appreciated?
Though, given the choice between the pox and a visit from the in-laws, I'd seriously consider the former.

 
At 10:42 am, Blogger kek-w said...

Yeah, that's me, in a past life kinda deal...that's some sort of alchymical homonculus raver thing that I'm trying out; a sort of medieval prototype for Dave the Head.

Yes, I have them on my tackle, fer sure. The lesions get everywhere literally (I've got one on an eyelid that's partially closed one eye; you also get 'em inside yr mouth which makes for an interesting culinery experience)...I look like the fucking Elephant Man right now...interesting that Chickenpox is treated as an almost a sort of 'comedy' disease now ("ohhh, the itching, the itching...", etc) prob. because it passes reletively easily for 95% of kids that get it, so it has this downscaled media presence, if'n you know what I mean....

The adult form is particularly unpleasant; no one talks about stuff like genital lesions, etc.
V/VM emailed me yesterday; he had it in his 30s and was saying how much it fucked him over and how criticial it was to rest. Forgive my gruesome interest in all this shit, but I did a degree in Microbiology, tho never pursued it as a career, so I'm watching this all unfold with, erm, rabid curiosity.

 
At 12:53 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Genital Lesions ... surely there is a band of that name somewhere.
The itching would drive me mad.

Well, it's good that you can keep an objective, scientific interest going.

 
At 1:44 pm, Blogger Martin said...

Do you have to wear trousers at all? Can't you sit on the sofa with them on display? Damn it, it's your house man, your rules!!

 
At 1:48 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Ah, we haven't hit the itching phase yet. We're still hanging out w/ our old pal soreness...

My wife's a nurse and even she was (quite rightly) openly mocking me earlier this morning for using terms like lesion and vesicle...I don't think the terms 'scientific' and 'objective' apply much to our household; mostly we just bitch about pop records...

which reminds me: is it just me or has Eminem had a face-lift?

 
At 1:59 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Oops, didn't see you there under the sofa, Martin.

Yep, no damn reason why I need to wear any damn clothes whatsoever. I'm thinking of some sort of fat-based body-paint, like woad, but with a soothing ointment mixed in. A bamboo pole for a spear; a garden trowel for a knife: over the fence into next-door...I'll take out the banker first, then the bus-driver...silently, without fuss...I'll gut them like game animals...soon others will join me and our numbers will grow. By sunday, Asda will be ours!

Hail to CROM!

CROM!

MIGHTY LORD CROMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

 
At 8:30 pm, Blogger rocket ron said...

fuckin hell. you poor bastard.. cant think of anything worse....well perhaps i can, but....

 
At 10:50 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beastie Boys X-Large shop? That sounds like a place that needs visiting.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home