KID SHIRT

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

WHITNEY ON CRACK

At last! The headline we've all been waiting for:



(Courtesy of the soaraway Sun )

The Current Bun, bless 'em, also treats us to photos of her garbage-strewn bathroom, complete w/ drugs paraphernalia ("Bingeing singer's coke spoons in filthy bathroom"...cue: outraged working-class mums up 'n' down the UK tutting in disbelief: "Cor, even my baffroom's not that bad, not even when 'ar Darren 'as too many lagers an' pukes up...")...even Pete Doherty's sighing w/ relief; now he can give Kate Moss the occasional coked-up seein' to w/out being papped to death...

"At her Whit's End" reads the headline. Fucking genius.



"Sordid!" "Pitiful!" "Voice Loved by Millions!"

Apparently, Whitney locks herself in her bedroom for days on end "where the woman who co-starred with Kevin Costner in the 1992 hit movie The Bodyguard smokes crack, uses sex-toys to satisfy herself and ignores personal hygiene." Heh. Sounds like a typical saturday morning round our house... "When high on drugs, she imagines she sees demons and is being beaten by them..." No, luv, they're real...honest! I've seen 'em too...

And for those of you who think I'm being too gleefully, needlessly harsh ("addiction is a disease", etc - fuck off, liberal scum!), I'd just like to point out the untold harm this...this bloody revolting woman has done to millions around the world. Not just her music, but the trite 'wholesome' aspirational middle-class attitudes she's helped spread like some Ebola-riddled Typhoid Mary...and not just her either, but that whole bloody clan of hers: Cissy Houston, Dionne fucking Warwick...Uncle Tom Houston, more likely. Poncey, snooty & pretentious: if they were white, they wouldn't be singing Gospel-Lite in church on sunday, they'd be in some small-town Operatic Society abusing Gilbert & Sullivan to an audience of their suburban peers. "Diva?" I'll bloody give you "diva"...crack-addiction's too good for 'em, I say!

At Kid Shirt we say: Gerra proppa job like the rest of us!

If you ask me, she should've joined The JAMMs.

4 Comments:

At 9:14 pm, Blogger rocket ron said...

what a splendid piece of pure hatred. ...love it

 
At 11:19 pm, Blogger johneffay said...

More tabloid hyperbole: Really serious drug users don't go to the bathroom to do drugs; in fact really serious drug users don't even go to the bathroom to go to the bathroom...

 
At 6:46 pm, Blogger rocket ron said...

speak for yourself john. you junky cunt

 
At 7:20 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

lol!

John's right, though, Ronnie. The Whitney article went on to describe how our favourite chanteuse had taken to wearing baby nappies because she'd started pissing herself during crack binges...

Yep, this exactly is the sort of Pop Trivia we love on Kid Shirt.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home