KID SHIRT

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

GRRLZ ALOUD AND OTHER STORIES

Just watched an excellent popumentary on Girls Aloud. The last single's finally started to grow on me, now that it's fled the charts. Tasters for the new LP are encouraging too, and that tour that Dom, Psychbloke & me failed to get tickets for back in May looked a lorra, lorra fun.

All of which reminds me, Chris and I got a flier thru the post a couple days ago from Butlins Holiday Park in (Yay!) Minehead, North Somerset, advertising a Pop Fest. Spectacular this coming November that features Girls Aloud, Rachel Stevens and the mighty Darius. Plus S Club 7’s Jo O’Meara and a bunch of assorted losers, light-weights and Pop Idol winners. Reasonably priced, I thought. Chris suggested we drugged the kids and locked them in the cupboard that weekend (or maybe she meant us? Actually, thinking about it, it's not a bad idea. It would be a cheap, environmentally-friendly alternative to (physically) leaving the house). It certainly did wonders for Syd Barrett.

Either way...Fuck ATP, that shit's soooo last century.

"...LEAVIN' USED DIAPERS/UNDER YER WINDSCREEN WIPERS..."

Any parents amongst you will, no doubt, be familiar w/ the term 'Evil Nappies', but these really are evil (click to Zoom In...but watch out for the skid-marks!):



Ashamed to admit it, but these are Tesco Value nappies, which probably explains a thing or two, but check the disturbing montage of nightmarish characters above. *Shudder* Definitely some sort of inexplicable Pseudo-Egyptian Hieroglyph thing going on here. Is this a Halloween Themed Nappy, or something? I'm not getting it. Or are we trying to summon down Osiris here?

Though, shouldn't that be Zsplenarkaxis, the Mesopotamian God of Shit.

Either way, Chris pointed these freaky nappies out to me last night. "Look," she said, suddenly lunging at me out of the shadows, brandishing a soiled nappy, "Have you seen this? There's some sort of witch in there...and, over there, a creepy-looking red bird. And what about that weird yellow were-rabbit...he's got an "L" on his stomach. What's that stand for, eh?...'Lucifer'?" At first I thought she was crap-skrying, then I saw what she meant.

Personally, I really like that fat, bearded Rasputin-like character who looks like he's about to either strangle someone or shag them. Or both. He's a real fucking bad-ass.

Land-fill issues aside, I'm v. proud that my daughter is wearing what is obviously some sort of twisted Surrealist Wiccan pooh-garb. I'm gonna start referring to them as Tim Burtons (that's Somerset Rhyming Slang, btw). Perhaps this could be expanded out into a whole branded anti-designer clothes-range. Or maybe we could create a series of other nappy designs aimed at niche-market parents not impressed by Tesco's Goth-Lite approach: I'm thinking of characters from various Moorcock novels, tiny Chapman Brothers-esque WW2 soldiers in assorted battle-stances, the Ultraman Family, panels from Gorge Herriman's "Krazy Kat" kartoon, miniaturised gate-fold sleeves from various Acid Rock and Prog LPs, photomontage collages by John Heartfield, pictures of 1970's dragsters, Hot Rods and Funny Cars, or characters from Steve Gerber's run on "The Defenders", etc, etc...