"PAH! PESKY KIDS..."
"I woulda gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those genetically-modified trifles!"
This character, seen glowing a bileous green, at night, round the back of the Yoplait factory on the outskirts of Yeovil:
Dead-Eye Jack, the locals call him. Apparently, he used to be the factory handy-man. An odd fellow...they say he died in mysterious circumstances, drowned in a vat of sherry-trifle...now his ghastly shade haunts the old factory on the edge of town, scaring off busy-bodies and snoopers who wander onto the trading-estate at night.
I've seen the flickering coloured lights coming from the factory windows in the hours before dawn. The clatter, whirrr and hum of heavy-machinery. And the black, unmarked buses full of dead-eyed Portugese migrant workers that arrive at twilight...
Just what are they trying to hide up there?