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Monday, March 28, 2005

MARTHA AND THE MUTTONS

As an aside to my ongoing PJ Harvey/Goldfrapp 'beef' (below): has anyone noticed that it's currently impossible to pick up a UK paper/magazine/colour suppliment that hasn't got a reference to 'singer/songwriter' Martha Wainwright (or her equally tedious twat of a brother Rufus)?

(Martha and Rufus: I mean, how more middle-class rustic can you get?)

Christ, but how much money have they spent getting her name etched into our synapses? (See, it's worked: they've even got me talking about her!) Her LP isn't even out and I'm sick of her already...the Wainwrights are slowly starting to take the Bedingfields' place in my personal Mythology of Hatred; in fact, Martha Wainwright has more than a passing resemblance to Natasha Bedingfield...a sort of ungraceful, I dunno, what's the opposite of anthropomorphism (You know, where you represent people in animalistic terms, rather than the other way round...)? The Bedingfields have a little pigginess and a smidge of horsefulness about them and I can see that in Martha Wainwright too. And it's not a good thing either. Perhaps these people are deliberately (heh) groomed for musical stardom because they have physiognomic attributes that subliminally appeal to animal lovers. Well, I'm not falling for it...

I propose that we boycott these fucks: nip their pitiful little careers in the bud before they've even started. C'mon, you know it makes sense.

Otherwise, we're just going to end up with a PJ Harvey type situation in a couple years where there's an unconscious consensus that the Wainwrights are, y'know, really good, but no one's sure why.

It's probably best that I point out the fact that their PR people are fucking with your mind even as we speak. I'm just trying to save you from unnecessary psychological damage at some point in the future.

Hmm. Wonder if we could sue them.