KID SHIRT

Sunday, March 20, 2005

ARE YOU ARE MISSING WINNER?

Watched "Dark City" last night...

Well, by "watched", I mean I lasted about 35 minutes before I had to turn the fucking thing off. Badly acted, badly written, badly directed MTV director-school fodder: the first three are normally plus-points for me where films are concerned, but, in this instance, they somehow conspired to create something that we 'critics' normally refer to as shitty-shite bollocks...

Someone lent it to me, so a least I didn't have the indignity of having either bought or rented this wretched piece of 'quirky' toss. Jeez, I can almost imagine the Pitching Session: "Blahblah stylish SF Film Noir blahblahblah..." and ten minutes later some fucking ponytail signs over an initial 15mil production budget. I wish these fuckwits would get over Bladerunner. Enuff, already.

In the end, I had to cheer myself up by watching "Mountain of The Cannibal God" starring Stacy Keach and Ursula Andress (boy, that prosthetic penis severing scene still makes my eyes water) ...still, it did the trick and I went to bed happier than a Fillipino extra chewin' on a mouthful of pig chittlings. Nice soundtrack too. All you need is $125,000 and an Italian crew (or $5 and Damon Packard) and Bob's yer mum's toy-boy. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with Hollywood these days.

By a complete coincidence, I'd recently bought another DVD 'starring' Ursula Andress (Have to confess: I'm not a fan, btw...) which gave me an idea...

Competition Time!

Guess the title of the other film that I bought starring Ursula and I will send you a free DVD copy of "The Invisible Ghost" starring Bela Lugosi wot I bought up the garage, Yeovil, for a quid the other week. This classic Thirties spine-tingler is sooooo great that I, er, accidentally bought two copies! And you can win one, gentle reader...all you have to do is name the Ursula Andress film I bought on saturday and I promise to mail you this classic Bela creaker (regardless of whether you want it or not) anywhere in the world. Though, obviously, I can't guarantee that it'll work on non-UK DVD playas, but what the heck.

Some rules, though:

(1) One guess per person. And don't even think of using an alias, 'cause I'll, like, know...
(2) No employees or relatives of Kid Shirt can enter this competition.
(3) Ursula Andress cannot enter this competition.
(4) Bela Lugosi cannot enter this competition.

Okay, film buffs: give us yer best shot...