KID SHIRT

Sunday, February 06, 2005

DON'T FUCK WITH THE WONGS

Our side of Yeovil is currently immersed in a Pea Soup-sized fog of John Carpenter proportions that's downsized reality to something resembling a low-budget 1930's film-set.

Walking thru the dim, swirling, subterranean murk. At the top of the hill, a 1960's redbrick bungalow masquerading as a church of uncertain denomination, its neon crucifix barely visible as a sickly, pale radium green. Just what is it they're advertising here: a God of Tumours, necrosis and unwanted mutation...? And who is their chosen demographic: White Trash with mismatched chromosomal triplets and benign melanomas?

I pass a family of drunken middle-aged Geordies slurring in some incomprehensible Ur-Argot. Four of them, fat and addled, all wearing identical brown-and-cream sportswear. They're all shouting and I can't understand a word they're saying. It's like I've died and passed over into another realm; a level of Hell that resembles a Bulgarian steel town circa 1973...

On the corner, a lamp-post is covered in what looks like vertical Cantonese graffiti, but painted in thick red household paint the colour of lurid stage-blood. The paint has dribbled down the post, so that it looks like a series of exit wounds. The effect is ghastly...

A couple snogging in the front of a Vauxhall Astra with the lights off; their shadows smudged together into a single overlarge head. They are making awkward jerking motions, as if they are eating each other's faces. Pecking at each other's flesh like oversized monochrome birds in a Max Ernst woodcut collage...

BAILE BUZZARD DANCEHALL PIRACY

Picked up another fistful of twelves yesterday...months behind the rest of the universe, 'natch:

"Diplo Rhythm" by Diplo features a shuh-shuh-shuddering bubble-riddim with kung-fu one-inch punch style snares and versioneering c/o the ubiquitous Vybz Cartel and UK Dancehall singer Sandra Melody, but the version that radically realligned my chakras is "Percao" featuring Brazilian Baile Funk group Pantera os Danadhinos. This is (s)punky stuff, chocfulla backstreet attitude with gobby Portugese vocals that strangely remind me of "The Word" by Early Eighties DC Go-Go group The Junkyard Band. Wish I'd picked up Diplo's "Florida" LP now...

Grabbed a copy of "Sunshowers" by M.I.A. wh/ I think was the single prior to the excellent "Galang", but I managed to miss it last summer due to the fact that I live somewhere in the Late Triassic Era. More skunk-addled, detuned Malaysian Dancehall based on (correct me if I'm wrong) a tune by Kid Creole associate Stony Browder/Dr Buzzards Original Savannah Band : "He got colgate on his teeth/And Reebok Classics on his feet..." The drums are so hisstorted they sound like they've been radio'd-in from Papua New Guinea. 10/10 for best low-key petulant vocal attitude since Neneh Cherry. And if you don't own "Galang" then rectify that immediately...

Diplo/M.I.A are appearing in Bristol in early March, supporting Roots Manuva. And Farmer Glitch has some downloads available on his blog from, I think, the "Piracy funds Terrorism vol. 1" comp.

You all know my thoughts on Beyonce, but I fucking loooove Nina Sky. "Unreleased Vol. 2" features versions of "Move your Body" with Vybz Cartel (again), log-drum loops, 8-bit backing vocals, cheesy Casio sine-wave presets and a great five-minute feel-good retro-recreation of Jacko's "Wanna be Starting Something". "Holla Back" features Juganot and a choir of what sounds like drunken cossacks vomitting en mass ("In the back of the club/Puffin' that bud..." Yeah: Too much, by the sound of it...). And, following on from yesterday's post about re-engaging w/ 1979, the 30-second outro suddenly and unexpectedly morphs into a clicky, stiff-necked martial-beat that might have come from a lost B-side by The Normal. From Roland System-100 AbUsers to GhettoFabulous RnB SupaStars in one generation...

And fuck it, yeah: "Time to Go" is Music for Pimply Smack-Smoking Pram-Pushing 17yr-old Single Mothers...total slush, but I love it and I'm not ashamed to admit it.