Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Bemused to see that Fairport Convention are playing Yeovil tomorrow night, but I had to read a London-based media/nightlife/life-style guide to discover this fact, as there has been no local advertising of the gig whatsoever. In fairness, though, there was probably a microdot-sized puffvert in The Western Gazette hidden in the pixel-grain of an ad for a Quiz-Nite at The Portman Arms, East Chinnock.

I would actually go and see them, not because I like them, you understand...but because (a) it's a band and they're playing in Yeovil and (b) they're not Van Morrison. However, Chris and I are already off out tomorrow to see the remake of Assault on Precinct 13...I'm not sure how I feel about this, because (a) I fucking love John Carpenter's films and a remake is (i) pointless, (ii) arrogant and (iii) creatively bankrupt, (b) Ethan Hawke and Lawrence Fishface are in it, and (c) it uses rogue cops as the protagonists, not LA gang-bangers. Still, (a) it's the only film on in our narrow baby-sitting temporal-window, and (b) I said similar things about the Dawn of The Dead remake and that turned out to be mostly here's hoping.

And besides, I saw Fairport Convention when I was about 17 and they played a lot of fucking jigs. And by "a lot" I mean a number (not necessarily even an integer) greater than zero. All the girls in my college year were dancing themselves into a lather, so I had to prostitute myself by awkwardly frolicking with "A Wanton Maiden from Sutton Montis" (that was the name of the track, idiot, not a description the girl I was hoping to cop off with). I still have nightmares about it now. The gig, I mean, not the girl; the girl was a complete non-starter...

Apparently, our teens are supposed to be the happiest time of our lives. Yeah, right. Which Ad Agency dreamt that one up?

Incidentally, I haven't forgotten about my occultic attack on Van Morrison at the Yeovil Octogon last year...I still fully intend to post photographs of that evening, but there's still a few pics left in the disposable camera that I need to use up before getting the film developed. Intesterestingly, when I dismantled my PC recently, its innards were all larded-up...

the mother-board was covered in a sticky mass of what looked like human adipose-tissue in the shape of a double-chin. Or was it the letter "V"?