KID SHIRT

Saturday, June 25, 2005

MORE SHAMELESS NAME-DROPPING

Just found out last night...

A little birdie who will have to remain nameless tells me that Chris Martin of bedwetting, failed chart-toppers Coldplay and his r/volting wife Gwyneth Paltrow were in Sherborne on thursday night for a private dinner with one of his old school-teachers, prior to his appearance at water-logged Worthy Farm. Martin is, of course, an ex-Public Schoolboy who boarded at one of Sherborne's loathsome Centres of Snoot Advancement.

(For those of you, who don't know: Sherborne is just across the Dorset border, a mere five miles from my subterranean volcano HQ in Yeovil, Somerset; easily w/in the targetting-capability of a short-range surface-to-twat missile; God, if only I'd known...the possiblities for mischief-making were nigh-on incalculable...)

The only gossip I can bring to this blog w/out getting sued is that Martin is "a lot nicer than you'd think..." and Paltrow is "very, very American." (Not entirely sure what that means.) Apparently, she declined to have a wander around Sherborne in the afternoon because she feared she might get mobbed (presumably, by barbour-and-tweed-wearing sixtysomething blue-rinses (Sherborne is the World Capital of Snoot, though God knows why; they're not that bloody rich...Yeovil Folk are considered to be shitty little educationally-subnormal proles by the good well-heeled Burghers of Daaaarsaaat; which, of course, we are...) ) ...yes, it appears that Gwinny is a tad bit paranoid about getting papped. Presumably, they stopped off at the Wiltshire hunting-bunker of her mates Madonna (call me 'Madge', I'm just a normal person like you...) and Guy "shit film-maker" Richie on the way down.

I hope no one's mobile-phone (sorry, cellular) went off and played "Crazy Frog" during dinner.

7 Comments:

At 1:58 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

rumour has it that they had a threeway rimming session after dinner. a sherborne school ritual i have heard. the bitch was the first female participent in 4hundred years....

 
At 9:06 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

...apart from Diana Spencer.

 
At 4:45 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no.that was frank. diana was rimmed in marston magna

 
At 9:52 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Heh. Marston Magna...don't get me started on Marston Magna.

Weird lights in the church at night...the garage...a smell like rotting cabbage floats in the air. It's home to a family of coalmen.

 
At 4:39 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yea, thats marston alright.oh send shivers down my spine....

 
At 12:18 pm, Blogger Culla said...

Recently I have noticed Christ Martin has attempted to downplay the emotional intensity of his great band's great work with a blokey-jokey character and crazy frog skits: it will not work. More on coldplay here: http://www.whorecull.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=63&Itemid=41

 
At 8:34 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Hahaha...brilliant!

Ditto: "Christ Martin"...him and "Saint" Bono and "Saint Bob"...we've nearly got enuff for a fucking Last Supper.

"...a blokey-jokey character..." I fucking hate it when 'they' try really hard to prove they've got a sense-of-humour and that they're just ordinary people like 'us'. Wankers.

Tom Cruise and a water-pistol. An elegant lo-tech peoblem to a Scientological (izzat a wurd?) Pest Control Problem. I'd like to see more 'witty' lo-tech actions like this being taken against celebs. Keep the tossers on their toes...keep 'em guessing, I say...

 

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