KID SHIRT

Monday, April 25, 2005

BLACK EGGS



Enormous whale-like creatures hover overhead, covered in a vile semen-coloured ectoparasitic infestation. It begins to rain tapeworms. Headless prostitutes congregate on Spectre Street, looking for hosts. An unexpected nerve-fog. The air turns brown and burns like old film-stock. Luminous, skull-faced surgeons cruise Rotestrasse in armoured-cars, broadcasting gynaecological propaganda through distorted loudspeakers. There's a sudden smell of creosote as she removes her clothes. She offers me an object that resembles the eye of a large animal: soft, pungent and furry, it tastes of mouldy fruit. We are being pursued by something that used to be furniture; it rattles and clacks, scuttling up the stairs behind us like a wooden spider on a framework of hinged limbs and semi-corroded brass-fittings. As the temperature rises, a dull, low-frequency buzzing sound fills the air, like the clicking, clattering chatter of insect mandibles and feeding-tubes. The Black Cavalier turns and laughs, pulling a latex mask from his face with small, deformed, claw-like fingers: "Your father was a..."

6 Comments:

At 7:14 am, Blogger Circle Brophy said...

this is not about KKShirts wonderful art, it's about ice-cream and thee factory from hell i was so pleased but not suprized to hear ov its demise... it was last owned by yoplait evil bumsukkkers who did secret research with GMT (that yer geneticaly modified trifles y'all) wastful bastards... im glad its gone... on saying that, nice pics ov ice-cream vans... warms thee cockles.

 
At 7:05 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

I did a late nite undercover reccie up Lufton way on my bike last night, and I'm afraid to report that they're still open...

By co-inkydink, I spoke to a lorry driver who was dozing in his cab down a side-road and he confirmed that they (Yoplait) did, indeed, make trifles up there (but "were shutting down later in the year...")

...but, genetically-modified trifles? Yeesh: the mind doth verily boggle.

 
At 5:43 am, Blogger Circle Brophy said...

I am depressed... still by thee end ov thee year it will all be over... did you know that most ov thee people who work there are (or were) portugese bussed in undercover ov night from a secret detention centre near Taunton!!! 'Well thats wot oi were told anyways.'

 
At 12:50 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Portugese Refugees bussed out from a secret camp in Taunton...gene-spliced trifles: this is like a Retro-Nineties West Country edition of The X-Files...

Damn it! What are they up to at that Yoplait factory?

 
At 8:53 pm, Blogger Loki said...

more to the poiny, what are you doing waking up sleeping truckers? have you no concern for road safety? david prowse would be furious...

 
At 7:06 pm, Blogger kek-w said...

Yeah? Well, I'm not scared. Let him chase me then, with his bad arthritis...

And I bet he can't fit into his Green Cross Code Man cozzie any more.

But what about that little black kid in a baco-foil hat who sat on his Raleigh Chopper in the "Get Yourself Seen" advert...? I didn't have any bike lights when I visited the Yoplait factory a few nights ago. Now he's all grown up, d'ya reckon he'd chase me in his Humvee...?

 

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