THIS GUY'S GOT GUTS
Jeez. You go off-line for a couple days and everything goes batshit...
Only just heard about poor ol' Farmer Glitch and his exploding appendix. Lord, that sure puts my pitiful spastic colon to shame. But are you sure it was a burst appendix and not another of your, er, Eighties Italian Cannibal Film related episodes? I warned you about gnawing on your own entrails. (Yes, I know it's a comfort thing...)
The manager of Cafe Nero, Yeovil, is still in physio after you...Yes, I know he over-buttered your waffle, but there was really no need to, uh, chew him out like that. And thank God Asda agreed to drop charges after you complained their staff weren't fresh enough.
And, no, you can't have my appendix. I haven't got one either.
Get well soon, mate. I'll give you a ring.