KID SHIRT

Saturday, August 28, 2004

SINISTER HARMONICAS

SilverDollarCircle: "i really hate seeing people play mouth organs. i find it really creepy. ok, bye."

Ha! Genius.

THESE RECORDS

Who was it who did the Matt Johnson/The The jokes recently? Was it Matt Woebot? Well, here's some far feebler attempts...

Daniel Miller walks into These Records and says: "Do you sell any Normal records in here?"

And Andrew Jacques says: "Are you trying to be funny, mate?"

**********************

Daniel Miller walks into These Records and says: "Do you sell any Normal records in here?"

And Andrew Jacques says: "Oi! What d'you think you're playing at? Get out! The shop shut down weeks ago when we were evicted - this is my fucking bathroom!"

And his brother Howard says: "Our bathroom."

**********************

Hahaha. Respek' due: These Records. Guess you had to have been there. (Provided you could bloody well find them!)

ALIENS Vs. OTHER ALIENS

Finally saw Aliens Vs. Predators last night. And it's every bit as average/great/good/crap (delete as applicable) as you probably think it is. Bit worried though that one of the cast-members might be the guy who plays Milton Wordsworth in Story-Makers ("E-magine...E-magine a story..!"), but I probably e-magined it. Paul Anderson does a reasonable job with the direction and I won't spoil the plot or anything for all you salivating fan-boys out there, but you probably already know far more about the film than I do and I've actually seen it.

It's interesting how well Giger's original design-concepts hold up: they still look groovy...but to be honest the scariest thing about this film is the fact that in 25 years-plus no-one has actually brought anything new to the table. They're still clinging onto the original film like it was a life-belt, in the same way that Marvel desperately hang onto Stan and Jack's old ideas from over 40 years ago. AVP is modern film-making's equivalent to tag-team wrestling: let's bloat up our failing franchises by combining them. Lets make a meal that uses a MacDonalds and a Burger King burger in one roll: it's got to taste better, by golly. Well, Up-Sizing is sure as hell a lot easier than actually thinking up something new, ain't it?

Still, I'm not complaining really; I do actually quite like the idea of it...like Jason Vs. Freddy (which I've still not seen), the concept of the cinematic team-up or cross-over seems to have a lot going for it on a visceral level, but, at the end of the day, it's really just the same old dreary third-hand ideas, the same sad Spectacle, but pumped-up to bursting-point. Except it isn't.

And the film itself? Well, actually, it was better than I thought it would be. In fact, it was quite good fun. The picture quality was remarkably good. My favourite bit? Well, that was the part half-way through when someone stood up in the cinema and their head suddenly appeared in front of the film. It was surreal and strangely thrilling at the same time: like a comic-strip character that unexpectedly pushes their head up through 'the fourth wall'.

It was the only bit of the film that I hadn't expected.